Chumf Goes on Holiday

Chumf and Laughing Harri went to The Budgie Islands on holiday, they arrived at their beautiful 8 star Hotel, checked in at the marble reception area, Harri faced forward as she gave the details to the pretty one eyed receptionist, Chumf looked around the lobby and reception area excited at the prospect of a break in the sunshine, no missions to accomplish, no Manbra calling him and breathing down his neck, no Evil hamsters or Brown Koalas or Bitchy witches, Chumf was free for the next quarter quaxom and nothing was going to stop Harri and Chumf having the time of their lives…. Nothing that He knew about at this point anyway.

The Hotel had everything anyone would need to relax and enjoy themselves, a Sauna , a state of the art Snudge, in house entertainment, Flunkies to fan your hot balls when the sunshine gets too much, poolside drinks service, Tattoo parlor, Taxidermist, the lot.

They arrived late the first night so went straight up to bed, they headed down to the pool early the next morning, Harri wore a smart but casual one piece mohair bikini whilst Chumf sported the tightest set of Blue speedos you are ever likely to see, his voice was particularly high as they made their way down in the lift. As they arrived out at the poolside nothing could have prepared them for what they saw, every single bather was stark naked, I mean naked, in the scud, the altogether, the full birthday suit, once the people round the pool noticed Harri and Chumf a chorus of mocking laughter sounded out pointing at these two baffoons who had paid for a quarter quaxom holiday at “La Nudey Sur” Hotel. Chumf moved quickly to get his tackle out whilst Harri was not so keen.

“I am not doing it Chumf, you have always been a bit of an exhibitionist but this isn’t my cup of Frog, I am going back to the room , you can stay here if you want, you know where I am” said Harri not wanting to ruin Chumf’s holiday but at the same time feeling very awkward at the situation.

Harri turned back as if remembering something,

“Chumf remember put factor 50 on your Johnson”

“ will do”

Just as well Harri opted out of the nudity as Chumf could only find one sunbed, it was next to a Buxom Drakanian woman who had 3 large breasts, they exchanged polite chit chat about the stunning weather, her extra breast and Chumf’s now binned Speedos.

“your wife didn’t like the idea of stripping down then?” Enquired his new friend

“it seems not, a bit shy I guess, she isn’t my wife actually, she’s my girlfriend”

“oh I see, so is this your first time on holiday together?”

“yeah” replied Chumf trying to keep his answer short in an attempt to stop the conversation that was stopping him from relaxing properly.

“what do you work as?”

What a question to ask our hero, he could say anything he wanted but he would have rather not have to say anything at all.

“I am a ….mmm a milk churner and so is my girlfriend…yourself???”

The odd breasted Woman’s eyes lit up…

“so am I, how amazing!!!”

“Shit” thought Chumf , he should have known better , Drakania was famous for its milk churning and was now second largest importer of “Dugbutter” in Rupea(The continent Chumf lived in and second largest continent on Streath(Chumf’s world).

“how interesting!!!” said Chumf lying of course

“oh yes I have churned all my life, I ….”

“sorry to stop you in full flow…..”Chumf hesitated waiting for her to tell him her name

“Brugul”

“Brugul, nice name Brugul, I have to go and check on my girl, hopefully catch up with you later”

“ I hope so as that’s a lovely Johnson” she said winking at Chumf

Chumf was not impressed, he did not acknowledge her comment or the wink of her eye, this was certainly one for the scrapbook , being accosted by a 3 breasted woman, maybe a dream for some men not for Chumf , call him old fashioned but two breasted women were fine by him thank you very much.



Chumf hurried up the stairs to their hotel room, by the time he had reached the door he had seen the funny side of his poolside encounter, opening the door he shouted..

“Harri, you would not believe what just happened to me”

Silence

“Harri?” still nothing.

Chumf looked around the hotel room, then out onto the balcony, Harri was nowhere to be seen, he sat on the bed then noticed a small piece of paper at the top of the bed, in scrawled writing the note read….



“we have your Burd, if you want to see her again then you must come to The Banana Beach hut tonight at 9, no funny stuff”

Chumf’s heart sank as low as a footballers IQ, this wasn’t about some random person he had to rescue, this was the love of his Life, his sweetheart, his ballwasher. Chumf lost his composure , the steel and non emotion he showed in his day to day heroism had vanished, he was angry and someone was going to pay for this. The perpetrators of this crime were going to see…… The Dark Side of Chumf.



Who has kidnapped Harri?

Will Chumf let his Dark Side go too far?

Is Brugul any relation to the 3 breasted woman from Total Recall?




We will find out in the next chapter of Chumf goes on Holiday